Geo Supplies

This firm’s catalogue set me thinking . . .

Let us now rhapsodise about Geo Supplies
Who provide geological goodies.
Their catalogue pages you can browse through for ages
Or order, if that’s what your mood is.

The mind simply boggles: there’s helmets and goggles,
Field notebooks, soil augers, cold chisels.
But their bottles of acid are not for the placid –
They’re to test rock to see if it fizzles.

With your hand lens, rock saw and your gold pan, it’s sure
You’ll never become an old dullard;
And if streaking’s your line, then their streak plates are fine
For distinguishing white streaks from coloured.

Rock tumblers they do, grits and polishes, too
If lapidary’s what does it most for you.
They’ve a lapping machine to give rocks a nice sheen
(It’ll take bloomin’ ages and bore you).

Find a fossil, and then with your new vibropen
And your Geo Supplies scratching needle,
You can stay up quite late as you scratch and vibrate,
And you scrape, and you tap, and you twiddle.

Rock specimens, too, they will bag up for you
With a card bearing full explanation.
The catalogue’s spiel makes the claim: “They’re ideal
For pupil experimentation”.

So pupils all over, from Strathclyde to Dover,
Are testing rocks’ less well-known features:
“The Head ought to ban it!” cry school staff, as granite
Gets bounced off the walls and the teachers.

To avoid such surprise from Geo Supplies,
Check their catalogue, be philosophic.
And mind what you do with anything new,
Or the outcome could be catastrophic . . .

(Update: Alas, the printed catalogue is no longer available, but all their latest offerings are at the Geo Supplies website.)

[Image: Geo Supplies]
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