Hammer of the South

After my success at Peacehaven (see Poor Doris), I bought a geological hammer from Geo Supplies Ltd. For the briefest of microseconds, as I took it out of the packet, there was a feeling of unbridled power. . .

With this hammer in my hand
I’m a power in the land:
I smash up rocks to get the fossils out.
With my goggles and hard hat,
I go straight to where it’s at –
I’m a geo-vandal now, without a doubt.

If a specimen I spot,
I’m in there like a shot,
My one-pound chisel-end in hot pursuit.
As soon as I have found it,
I get hammering all round it
Hissing: “Just you come out clean, you little brute”.

But if, when it’s detached,
Bits of rock are still attached,
I whack ’em with the blunt end – several hits.
(I wonder if that’s why,
However hard I try,
They always end up on the ground in bits?)

It would be less detrimental
If I’d only be more gentle
As I used to be a little while ago.
But that would spoil the fun.
Look out fossils, here I come!
The end is nigh! Beware the hammer’s blow!

[Photo (of a Professor Schumacher, showing how it should be done): Andreas Neumann (carto.net)]
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