A Dorset village offers an unusual removal service (and I’m not just talking about apostrophes in road signs).
As I drove up the road into Milborne Port,
A sign by the road made me angry, distraught.
For the sign said, quite blatantly, “cats eyes removed”,
A practice of which I have never approved.
It’s evil, it’s cruel, it’s barbaric and wrong.
But there’s money involved, so it won’t be too long
Before humans get rich and the cats just get blind,
And their owners will purr, “It’s all right, never mind”.
Rise up, cats of Dorset: be wary, be wise,
The Milborne Port folk are after your eyes.
And what you must do, if you value your sight
Is knock over that sign under cover of night!
Then send out a message for dogs to surround it –
Just say there are bones there! They’ll dig all around it
And cover that sign up with soil – a disguise
That will save Dorset’s moggies from losing their eyes.