No news is good news

They say that “Dog bites man” is not news, whereas “Man bites dog” is. I wondered if that value judgement might change on a day when nothing much was happening . . .

“Here’s the news at a quarter to ten:
No dogs have been bitten by men –
Well, that’s not surprising.
The FTSE is rising,
And the weather is perfect again.

“No earthquakes or floods have occurred –
The very idea is absurd!
There isn’t much crime,
All the trains are on time,
And the first springtime cuckoo’s been heard.

“We’ve sent out our radio van
To find any bad news it can,
But there’s not much around.
Wait – here’s something they’ve found:
A dog has just bitten a man!”

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