The UK Meteorological Office begins its shipping forecasts with a general synopsis, which describes the main areas of high and low pressure. I was deeply moved by this recent one: “Low, north-east FitzRoy, drifting south and losing its identity . . .” How sad.

There isn’t much joy here in north-east FitzRoy
For a cyclone, downcast and alone.
It’s hard to be fond of the back of beyond;
I wouldn’t have come, if I’d known.

The Met Office say, in their clinical way,
There’s a ‘high’, building out to the west.
Trouble is, its persistence could harm my existence;
No wonder my pressure’s depressed.

Their latest projection says I’ve no direction:
I’m a drifting Atlantic nonentity.
Now my pressure’s got higher . . . the outlook is dire . . .
I think I’ve just lost my . . .

[Image: wikimedia]
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