An email from the chairman of the local Lifesavers Club wanted me to donate my Waitrose tokens to his cause. (You’re given a token as you leave the store, to put in one of three boxes near the exit; at the end of the month, Waitrose divides £1000 among the charities according to the depth of tokens in each box.)

Shopping’s not simple in Waitrose.
Hard enough to decide between brands;
But then, when you’ve filled up your trolley,
You’ve another tough choice on your hands.

Three charity boxes accost you,
In which you can see little mounds
Of green plastic tokens from shoppers
Which Waitrose will turn into pounds.

How do you decide which to favour
With the token the checkout girl gave you?
Well, help is at hand in an email
From swimmers who’re training to save you:

“Hoard all your discs until April,
Then into the box with the label
‘Horsham Lifesavers’ appended
Please post every one, if you’re able.”

It’s the first time I’ve ever been lobbied
To influence how I should vote.
But I’ll donate my little green tokens
In the hope that they’ll keep me afloat.

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