Nest box

In the same way that you can lead a horse to water, you can fix a nest box to a tree; but you can’t make the birds move in (or make the horse drink).

When I put up a nest box (a birdie ‘des res’
And exactly the size that the BTO says),
One or two birds had a quick peek inside it
But then they flew off, without having tried it.

What’s wrong with my nest box, I’d just like to know:
Is it not posh enough, too high or too low?
Or maybe it isn’t the box, but the site?
An avian friend tweeted, “This is our plight:

We know many nest boxes often get spied on
By closed-circuit cameras, so can’t be relied on
For privacy in our most intimate acts
All day and all night: we could never relax.”

Our family life could be shown on the telly
Without our permission! No – not on your Nelly!
In case you’ve not got it, our message is this:
Don’t pry in our nests, Sir David, Bill, Chris*.”

So maybe I’ll have to adapt the design
Of my off-putting nest box. I’ll nail up a sign
Saying: “Come, nest in here, it’s completely rent-free –
And you can be sure there’s no CCTV!

* Television wildlife presenters: Attenborough, Oddy and Packham.

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